Posted by David Sherman on Tuesday, February 06, 2001 at 8:46PM :
In Reply to: Re: PW FROZEN IN GROUND posted by Lonnie on Tuesday, February 06, 2001 at 7:53PM :
My friends and I sat around too and this is what we came up with:
1. 2 8 lb sledge hammers a rock bar and a shovel.
2. 1 chisel, 1 railroad pick, 1 large spud, and 2 cant hooks.
3. 3 cement blocks, half a cord of wood and 5 gallons of gasoline
4. 1 55 gallon drum and 1 bucket.
5. several large containers of beer
6. as many large bags of fine salt, rock salt, fertilizer, high-level nuclear waste, etc as can be scrounged.
7. non-frozen PW idling nearby for safety.
Place cement blocks on ground as to support flat end of barrel. Stuff wood under barrel. pour approx 1 gal of gasoline on wood and ignite. Drink beer. Continue to add wood until fire is roaring. If it starts to go out, add gas as needed. Shovel snow into barrel. Bang on tires with sledge hammers to "loosen things up". Drink beer. Dump contents of sacks around the tires. Shovel more snow into barrel and stoke fire until barrel is full of boiling water. Stick rock bar under axle and practice lifting. Drink beer. Get tractor and chain it to bumper of frozen truck. Bail boiling water onto chemicals using bucket. Have tractor man engage clutch while helpers push, pry and beat on various parts of stuck truck. Notice that tractor is towing body and frame across yard while wheels, axles, and springs remain in the ground. Notice that beer has all been drunk. Decide that if there's so much snow on the ground that you couldn't see that the tires were frozen in the mud, you probably wouldn't have been getting started working on that truck any time soon anyway. Go home and wait for spring.
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