Posted by Arthur P. Bloom on Wednesday, August 08, 2007 at 21:55:27 :
My employee and I were sipping a cool adult beverage at a little table in front of a deli today.
A male tourist moron on a bicycle, with one of those plastic two-wheel trailer things attached that hold a small child was BS-ing with a friend, with the bike halfway on the sidewalk, and the baby trailer, with baby, in the street.
A female tourist moron, driving an Escalade, with the obligatory cigarette in one hand, and the cell phone in the other, was attempting to fit the barge into the spot where the baby trailer was sitting.
Since I find the sounds and sites of squished baby rather unsettling, I shouted to both of the morons "LOOK OUT!!!" "STOP!!!" "HEY, MOVE THE BABY!!!"
The male tourist moron gave me a dumb look, and said in his best Brooklyn accent "She has pullenty of roo-um, woy are you shoutink?"
The female tourist moron said in her best Brooklyn accent "Don't worry, I'm wartching and Oy hev a beckup SENSA."
So, I guess if you "hev a beckup SENSA", you needn't worry about squishing any babies.
(If you are not from this corner of the country, my attempt at duplicating their speech will not mean anything to you. Here, when we hear a Brooklyn accent, especially from some bleach-blonde nouveau-riche gum-chewing bimbo, driving a barge, or from a "parent" who should be taken out and shot for child abuse, it makes our skin crawl.)
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