Posted by Henri on Friday, July 27, 2001 at 6:04PM :
Just something I put togetherfor fun...
YOU MIGHT BE A POWER WAGON OWNER IF..............
You know how to properly pronounce "Moab" and "Rubicon".
You've ever had to explain the term "pucker factor".
You've been known to yell "That's not a four wheel drive dammit!" at your
television.
You think 10 miles a gallon is "fuel economy".
You bought a Power Wagon before buying a house.
You bought a Power Wagon before buying furniture for the new house.
You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares.
You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and
the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more truck on the
street or in the front yard.
The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of
importance):
8 car climate controlled garage with a hoist and an attached machine shop.
Outside parking for 6 trucks, a motorhome, a 1-ton dually, a 30'enclosed
trailer and a 6x6.
3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
A grease pit.
Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
Deaf neighbors (very important).
Across the street from a paint and body shop.
Some sort of house with a working toilet on the property somewhere -or-
hookups for the motorhome.
You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of mud tires
that could have been purchased.
"You know well that Orthodontic work is the equivalant of three sets of
tubes, tires, and flaps"
You sit in your truck in a dark garage and make engine noises and shifting sounds, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
You look at the purchase of tools as a "long term investment".
Your wife says, "If you buy another Power Wagon, I'm getting a new BMW."
If you can lose five pounds in a July afternoon while sand-blasting tuck parts.
Your children are named after favorite fishing spots (and one or more of them
were conceived on a trail ride).
Your garage holds more trucks than your house has bedrooms.
You're tired of people asking how fast your Power Wagon is and expecting to hear the
top speed in MPH, not time and distance traveled.
You have an immaculate Power Wagon which you drive one day a week, and the vehicle
that gets you around the other 6 days is rusted, covered with duct tape, and
has a pair of Vise Grips holding the brake line together. You promise
yourself you'll fix it right after this season, or when you need your Vise
Grips for something else.
You have enough spare parts to build another Power Wagon.
More than one tractor supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by
name when you call.
You have truck parts in your cubicle at work.
The guys at the local NAPA store laugh when you come in.
Your mother is shocked to find you have truck that doesn't go over 45mph.
If you can't remember when you last rested on weekends.
You're registered for wedding gifts at the Napa store and Vintage Power Wagons.
Your Christmas list begins with a Braden MU-2 and a rear power take-off (and
your 'significant other' knows what these are).
After your answer to "How was your weekend?" the next question is always:
"And you do this for fun?.... Right?"
You have a separate drawer for rally t-shirts.
Your lawn mower has mud tires and a winch.
Questionable taste.....but true, the new Power Wagon Advertiser arrives in the mail and
you disappear to the bathroom for hours.
Your reading material in your bathroom consists of truck parts and off-road
supply catalogs, several Dodge shop manuals, every book Don Bunn has ever written.... and 400 four wheeling magazines, none of which have centerolds.
People know you by the truck you drive.
People know you by your adventures.... "Oh, you were the one stuck in the mud at
the lake last weekend!"
Your first date involves a trail ride and hiking boots.
Your criteria for selecting a significant other include truck repair skills and a passion for old Dodges.
(Air tools optional)
You have a prescr1ption to help with depression and withdrawl symptoms
during the "off season"
Your friends don't recognize you without the smell of gear lube and grease on your jeans.
Your family remembers your hair color as "grease".
You plan your job or your wedding around the rally schedule.
You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every
other week or so.
You remember the dates and details of every Power Wagon Rally you've ever been in, but
can't remember your phone number.
Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time
with you.
You know you might be a real Power Wagon owner when crawling around in the muck
wrenching on your truck is much more appealing than reclining on the sofa,
watching the TV with a beer in your hand...
You complain profusely when cars on the freeway go wizzing past at crazy speeds in excess of 60+ mph.
A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or
organic?" ....and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
A neighbor asks to borrow some brushes, you hand them brushes for a
generator/alternator and they give you a funny look.
You tell a friend you need to clean up the head this weekend and they think
you mean the toilet.
You give out (insert your favorite parts catalog here)'s number when a
friend asks for the best hardware store.
You look at the phone pole at that corner and see a good anchor point for spooling your winch cable.
You enjoy driving in the rain (or snow) on the way to work (or school) just
so you can have a chance at pulling out some stuck fool in a modern 4x4.
You always double-clutch a down shift nomatter what you're driving.
You buy real cheap tires for your street truck, so you can save $$$ for the
monster mud tires.
You always want to change something in your street truck to make it have more torque or sit taller.
You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the
next rally.
You memorized the menu at Denny's, Burger King, and other fine fast food
establishments.
You buy beer, shop towels and gear lube by the case.
You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.
You've ever tried to convince your wife you needed a spray booth to fix
the little dent on her station wagon.
You save broken truck parts as "momentos".
Your friends slap you on the back when you tell them you past a car on the freeway today.
When your friends who smoke come over you've got these really unusual ash
trays for them to use (made out of old pistons and other appropriate spare parts).
You've got 3 immaculate Power Wagons always trail ready, but your wife has to
nag you for 2 months before you fix the headlight in her car.
Your "daily driver" is continuously being mistaken for an abandoned truck because it's made up almost entirely of "spare parts".