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Posted by D Sherman [72.47.9.228] on Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 02:40:36 :
In Reply to: My experience is that... posted by Hank [64.119.43.114] on Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 00:12:54 :
You're right about the kids having a million things to deal with, but the only thing that truly needs to get done ASAP is the funeral and burial. After that, my advice is to take a little vacation and clear their mind. The parents almost always own the house free and clear and have enough money in the bank to pay the bills for several months. They probably have investment money that will pay the bills for years if need be. The parents that don't have that kind of financial stability usually don't have a house that they've lived in for 40 years full of stuff.
I think what happens is people just get in a panic and THINK they have to dispose of it all instantly. Some people's way of processing death is to try to make everything that reminds them of the person go away as quickly as possible. Other people's way is to go through every item in the house carefully and decide what to do with it. Most are somewhere in between. In ever case I've seen, the kids were in way more of a hurry than they needed to be, they were all stressed out about it, and if there's more than one they usually end up squabbling with each other, all of which could have been avoided if they'd just chill out for a while and then gradually start doing the estate stuff a little at a time.