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Posted by Jeff in San Diego [192.212.253.128] on Sunday, July 31, 2011 at 22:43:04 :
In Reply to: what do you say? posted by perry [96.242.125.232] on Saturday, July 30, 2011 at 20:32:46 :
I lost my dad and older brother to brain tumors and my younger sister still has an inoperable brain tumor that fortunately stopped growing after radiation treatments (Our family is in a genetic study for brain tumors). Also lost my mother to cancer.
Here are what I learned from my experience:
1. Don't stay away, come around as you normally would or more often. Talk about the stuff you normally talk about.
2. When he can't drive any more, offer to drive him where ever he wants to go. He may have a favorite place or people he would like to see.
3. If possible, offer the primary caregiver your phone number to call for help in case he falls and you are close by and can help. (There might be a big weight gain due to the steroids used)
4. The stress on the primary caregiver is incredible, so offer to sit in for them sometime if they need a break.
5. Keep quiet about family finances and any other family matters that could lead to family arguements.
6. If you phone him, make sure to identify yourself in case he starts to not remember or recognize people's names.
7. If he says strange or inappropriate things or forgets what he was about to do, feel free to reorient him to where he is and what he is doing at that moment.
8. Offer to do some of the things he used to do around the house, such as mow the grass. Or see what needs to be done, such as build a plywood ramp for the stairs to accomodate a wheelchair or put sturdy hand bars in the downstairs bathroom.
Also, Hospice is a great organization, they should be involved sooner rather than later.
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