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Posted by copey [206.80.245.29] on Saturday, November 13, 2010 at 06:41:58 :
Nothing used to drive my kids crazier than the Santa Clause parade and nothing packs town like it ,other than the time the bank caught fire and burned to the ground . Since the beginning of time the parade starts at one o clock sharp which gave us plenty of time to get the nine little Copeys ready. Check list ,every body gone to the bathroom ,every body have mitts ,boots ,guns ,gloves ,book bags . ‘Dad its not school”’ ok skip the guns and book bags substitute a none perishable food item. Now every body straight to the van no fighting or we wont go ! I always liked that threat I had them all were I wanted them now ,with the fear of missing Santa . We are not leaving until the seat belt light goes out ,who’s not wearing a seat belt . Ok we are mobile I get to the hi way we are one kid short ,back to the house grab the shy kid .Our small down is divided by the river and the only means of connecting the two halves of town is the bridge . Now traffic is terrible into town seems half the county on the west side of the bridge wants see the parade on the east side of town and the people who reside the west side of the county want to watch the parade want to watch it from the east side of town . So crossing the bridge takes a better part of a hour but this is social event. So as you cross the bridge you get to talk to friends that are crossing in the opposite direction which helps pass the time.
Hey Copey why is that kid on the roof of your van , Nice try Doc (Doc is not a doctor but a fuel oil delivery man who wanted to be one ) I am looking around and scores of people who are pointing to the top of my van . Billy (my wild kid) has opened a van window and climbed on the roof .GeeezeUs !!! Clinton and Dalton tackle that kid and get him in the van . I yell to Mrs Copey ,who is in the back of the van “I thought you were watching the kids “! .Her reply “I was watching until junior (my almost normal kid) had this nose bleed “when the Runt (my small kid ) hit him in the face with a can of cherry pie filling” . “Cherry pie filling is not a good choice for the food bank” I yelled back . By now the van is buzzing with kiddy chatter and rocking away from kiddy fights .We are parked I get out of the van kiss the ground we made it with no loss of life and only one escape and one nose bleed ,truly a good day so far . T minus one hour and counting to the big event ,every body has gone to bathroom nine or ten times . Lauren (my closet eater kid) has a orange face , and a upset stomach , she has eaten her box of Kraft dinner for the food bank , and was sucking on the cheesy stuff . What’s a little vomit on this big day, nobody will notice it any way onward . The kiddies here the sirens of the fire trucks to kick off this gala event and start the jumping up and down stuff .
We are thirty minutes into the parade and I haven’t made a trip to the emergency ward with a single kid and its looking like I might see the entire parade . He is coming ,he is coming the kids are jumping up and down Eddie (my chubby kid) pees himself in the excitement and from the ten below cold , I tell Mrs Copey "it will not freeze and fall off" like his twin brother is saying screaming at the top of his lungs .
Here is the deal Santa is perched on a flat bed tractor trailer mounted high in the air with his reindeer moving up and down .Santa has these dozen vixen college girls that do not wear enough clothing to make a pair of mitts out of ,much less cover their bodies woo hoo . These very mature young girls ,have mail carrier bags just like real mailmen and they collect the letters from the kids for Santa . Santa is hailing Ho ho ho merry Christmas from a loud speaker over and over and over .Then in a instant Santa ,changes his banter to hey kid get down get down get down you will get killed ! Dalton (my weird kid ) has broken the ranks and bypassing Santa’s fluff and is scaling the float .He gets on the float and is making his way to the top cotton batten snow to give his letter to the man himself . Dalton was taking no chances that some one else other than Santa get his letter . Santa is on now yelling on his loud speaker Copey “come get your kid “ I yell back “ That is not my kid “ Santa says”I taught him Sunday school for three years I know who he is come and get him “ ~ Copey
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