Re: O.T. the heat... Only 110 today in Vegas


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Posted by Ephraim [76.0.193.65] on Tuesday, July 06, 2010 at 21:49:22 :

In Reply to: O.T. the heat... posted by Doc Dave [24.245.101.30] on Tuesday, July 06, 2010 at 10:48:15 :

A friend sent me this in an email a few months back. (When I got this job in Las Vegas) You might enjoy it.

Dear Diary

Just moved to Vegas! Now this is a city that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm evenings. It is beautiful. I've
finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure
to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the
lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get
used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But
getting used to the heat is
taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool.. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60%
of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I
learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate
like this.
July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died
and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a
water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned
my lesson though.

No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And
it's hot
as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house
and I can't even go inside.. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I
ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It
cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid town.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator
is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked
cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when sat on
the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back
of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass,
and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and
sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do Shit
for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up
next week. Doesn't it ever rain here? Water rationing will be
next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.
Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the
car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me???

"Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail
me out of jail. Freaking Vegas . What kind of a sick demented idiot
would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the
trial goes.
>>




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