Posted by News item on May 06, 2000 at 12:53:12:
In a tragic early more fiery crash, a busload of 75 mothers enroute to participate in the Million Mom March were killed. The bus was rammed by an assault SUV with a fully automatic transmission and a high capacity fuel tank.
"There is no legitimate transportation need for these urban assault vehicles", said Sarah O'Brady of Hotrod Control Inc. "They are a menace to society at large and especially to children."
O'Brady said they plan to spontaneously form a Million Mom Minivan March in all major cities to call for ending production of assault vehicles and eventually their confiscation by the goverment.
"We're not talking about taking away the right to own a car and drive to a shopping mall. Just the ability to wipe out large numbers of people at a time. These vehicles are only designed to run over children and ram busloads of innocents", said O'Brady.
The mayors of several major US cities are already embroiled in a major lawsuit against several SUV makers, as well as the US Dept of Transportation.
SUV owners and other automobile extremists are currently boycotting Jeep for their signing an agreement to remove the dangerous four wheel drive feature from their assault vehicles. The other manufacturers, Ford, Dodge and Chevrolet, have said they are waiting to see how the boycott affects Jeeps bottom line before they will commit one way or the other. A notorious holdhout, AMC General said they would never sign such an agreement. AMC General makes the military style urban assault vehicles known as the Humvee.
"What the public at large doesn't realize is that the 4x4 option is no different than the All Wheel Drive feature on their mini-vans", said Wayne LaPhew of the National Rodders Association.
President Clintoon hailed the MMMM as an "example of spontaneous grassroots movement" that cannot be ignored. "We must ban all sorts of ordinary everyday objects to keep the children safe". When pressed for further details, the President shrugged and said, "Well, I think I've said enough. But those with assault BMX and mountain bikes and those child drowning swimming pools better consider themselves on notice."
(Brian in Oregon strikes again)